Aaaaahhhh…. The beginning of the week.

Weekends are tough. We typically sleep in, and IF I go to the gym, it’s Saturday morning. The rest of the weekend, typically nothing.  Well, Sunday I’m on my feet all day doing grown up stuff around the house, but that doesn’t count.

On top of that, we don’t typically stay on point food wise like we do during the week. Sigh.   Sometimes we go out to dinner Friday night, or maybe Saturday night. Or *gasp* both Friday AND Saturday.  We also typically see a movie, and there is no such thing as a movie without popcorn, soda and Swedish Fish or Milk Duds.  Nope.

Ok, I might be over exaggerating a little bit, but it FEELS like that every weekend.

Still, when Monday comes around, my self loathing is through the roof.

This is the next big area I need to work on. My self esteem.

It’s all me.  My husband loves me no matter what and always has.  This has been wonderful but also when I really think about it, I think it’s held me back too.  (definitely NOT blaming him for anything, don’t get me wrong) I think when you have someone that constantly supports you, it helps you feel better about yourself.  (even if deep down you’re not feeling good)  — That makes it a little easier to slip, or not stay on track,  or to just not see what’s really REAL… (As in, holy shit, was I really THAT overweight?!) — At least it did for me.  It helped add one more thing to the list of excuses I’d make to myself about why I couldn’t stay on track.

Since my mind has been a little more clear about reality, I’m having a little harder time hearing the truth or believing what’s being told to me.  I’m told things but see something different when I look in the mirror. This is all me.

With that said, I NEED to improve the way I see myself.

How am I going to do this?  This is what I’m working on this week.  I hope, by the end of the week to have a plan.

My initial idea is a Saturday Self Esteem post.  A post dedicated to one thing that happened each day of the week that was good for my self esteem.  It makes me feel like it will be a braggy post, which I’m not happy about but if it’s what I need to do, then it’s what I need to do…

I’ll let you know soon….